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Friday 17 July 2009

Doorman Link 01 '45

"Doorman Heights School (DHS) eliminating all 3H2 1H1 subject combinations by end of 2050"

"Veteran principal Mr S., 79, said that 3H2 1H1 students, on the whole were pulling the school's standard and its position on the non-existent 'top 5 JCs ranking' down. 'This batch of students also do not adhere to the Doormanian Code of Conduct strictly, leading to a degradation of the general public's impression of the school. 本座只是在清理门户。'

"However, ex-discipline master, senior counsel for Partly-Retired-And-Cast-Aside Teachers' Welfare, Mr. K., commented that he was deeply disappointed in Mr S.'s teaching methods and accused him of inventing a pack of lies (一派胡言) just to better the school's great academic reputation. He also expressed sorrow that the school is no longer at lofty Heights and felt too ashamed to meet the forefathers of DHS after moving on to the underworld.

"It turned out that Mr. S. was not the popular headmaster he was made out to be. Throughout the murky years in DHS, there were many outspoken dissidents who were either expelled due to undisclosed reasons, or worse, disappeared off the face of the earth forever. (Rumour has it that the round field in the campus was a burial place --> see report below.) Ex-student G.K., currently working in the P.R.I.M.E. Mini-star's Office, who was fortunate enough to graduate in 2007 after his 'O' Lvels, said, 'I always thought he was a 小白脸.'

"V.C., friend of G.K. and ex-student, currently a janitor in the P.R.I.M.E. Mini-star's office, expressed disappointment. 'I thought he was a great educator. He was a good role model for us. Also, his door was always wide open so that we could approach him when we were in dire straits... Sadly, things turned out to be this way. His supporters must have felt the same disappointment as mine.' "

"Round field in campus a burial ground?"

"As one walks into the campus, the first thing that enters one's line of sight is a round field, affectionately termed <正新猿>. Zheng comes from the Chinese idiom, 上梁不下梁歪, Xin simply means 'new', and Yuan is a sound-alike for 'garden' in Chinese, and also means 'monkey' - referring to our primate ancestors. Rumours are afloat that the field was actually a burial ground. But the real secret was that there was a way of opening up the burial ground.

" 'I think you are supposed to walk three rounds around chanting November Papa Charlie Charlie. At the end of your three rounds apparently someone will reply. Do not turn back,' a senior student revealed.

" 'Us campers have been warned not to approach the circle field at 3.30 a.m. It could be a bluff, but anyone caught will be punished severely, so no one actually tried to,' a student told this reporter during his annual camp.

"Could this be real? Could such a long-standing spot in the campus have a dark history? Insider sources confirmed rumours that outspoken dissidents against the reign of the dictator-like headmaster were done away discreetly and dumped in the circle field during full moon nights, on specially selected days that were supposedly auspicious burial days. Feng shui masters reportedly advised Mr. S. to have a Confucius statue erected there to circumscribe the yin qi in the field itself, so that the rest of the school remains safe from the troubled souls that lie there.

"School officials repudiated all accusations and condemned them as 'poor methods to sabotage the institution.' "