Escapism

I dread Taiwan's training, mostly because I am sick of seeing the faculty instructors in charge of us. I experience this low, swooping feeling when I see them. One has too much imagination; the other just talks too much to attract attention.

Yesterday marks the beginning of a low weekend before we fly. I kind of wasted today doing nothing, planted in front of the computer all day. I think I have a computer addiction. It saps my energy and time, and at the end of the day I accomplish nothing.

I kind of dread the R&R too, because I don't know who I am going with during free and easy. I am envious of Jet and Loke 'cause they just chum together. To think that I spent the last two months in a depression. Each passing day I toyed with the idea of visiting the medical officer, but of course I did not do it, for fear of being charged for malingering. It seems like everything is a chargeable offence.

Recently a closer bunkmate dropped out of the course due to back injury. He has come so far, and out of all the guys in my bunk I feel closer to him. My morale certainly took a beating.

Sometimes I wished I were never born.

I realised that I tend to do two things when I am stressed/sad:

1) Eat a lot.

2) Spend a lot.

(Previous) fulfilled/unfulfilled food wishlist:

- Nissin cup noodles

- Shihlin chicken cutlet

- Bobo chacha

- Random Macs EVM

- Teh si siew dai

- SME

Impossible wishlist:

- Casio Exilim Ex-FC100

- Canon PowerShot S95

- Leica V-Lux 20

- Nokia N79

- Nokia C5