Living with life

What a lousy day, though, putting it into words would greatly diminish the meaning of lousy, so I shall not.

It has been a series of uneventful but unfortunate events, and I have since failed, and stopped trying to, see things from new angles. Do you not agree that life right now, is a vicious cycle, refusing to take a break from the rush hour? You have your Sundays, but just when you have finished that last Maclaurin's, that last Hydroxy, that last D.C., for that beautiful transient moment to rejuvenate your heart and soul, life throws you back into another scurry of stale activities. You can only streamline your mind to cope with what academics have to offer, mould yourself to fit society's norms and expectations, and that is all. You slowly lose your inspiration and true directions in life. Yes, there are many directions.

Of course, I fully comprehend what society's norms exist for. We all need to stress ourselves to just before the breaking point, for
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"As we advance in life it becomes more and more difficult, but in fighting the difficulties the inmost strength of the heart is developed." - Vincent Van Gogh

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I love Van Gogh.

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Yes, life is not about getting emotional and whiny when you trip and fall and embarrass yourself in front of the guy/girl you have a crush on. It is about getting up and grinning widely in a foolish manner and hoping that he or she thought you were cute.

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But right now, what Dominic (ex-Dunmanian and uber community serviceman) said about getting the 'calling in life', maybe I haven't gotten mine? (But it's ripe time I get it; I want to go for my 'calling in life' with all that I have got.) Sidetracking, I still don't know my motivation for doing community service. I do not possess the kind and cheerful personality attributed to Lyon, I have no inspiration, lost my creativity, and generally have no sense of direction in life. I am weak. (As Quanyi would say.) But what of this?

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How can I be useful, of what service can I be? There is something inside me, what can it be? - Vincent Van Gogh

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It's true that I have many self-doubts, but they are nothing to shout about. As I said, it's not about getting whiny, it's about taking it into your stride and then blowing it all away. You face life with a gung-ho attitude, and even if you die because of that at least you know you have been living in the heat of the life, exciting and bubbling with possibilities.

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If you hear a voice within you say "you cannot paint," then by all means paint, and that voice will be silenced.

In spite of everything I shall rise again: I will take up my pencil, which I have forsaken in my great discouragement, and I will go on with my drawing. - Vincent Van Gogh

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The last two quotes resonate deep within me, for they ring with both literal and figurative echoes.

If we all have humble family backgrounds we would understand. But then, if we all had humble beginnings, the need to fight for a bigger slice of pie and become the best will not exist, for there is nobody who is wealthier than us around to compare.

OS!

The computing students just had their OS test. This article is on OS rivalry, stupid but fun!

How many apps? OS X (200).

Then we have a nice Apple keyboard.

Completely white!

On another note, people living in Mumbai now have an increased level of healthcare.

Private ambulance service.

Refer to links on top of page for more readings.

Worth

Achievement is often the yardstick of measuring one's worth.

This tenacious thought has been on my mind for a rather long period of time.

That is the axis upon the earth rotates: An employer sees potential in his potential employee's records and portfolio. A CEO who signs documents is deemed successful; a delivery man engaged in rough trade isn't.

I am in a rather confused state right now, wound up in my tiny bubble of a world trying to re-justify my existence, while hoping to write a truly inspiring story. No, this is not an emotional breakdown - far from that. Once I rejuvenate my self-image, I will create new goals, and set ahead with a more handsome stance, a further-reaching stride.

But till then, why is the path studded with so many obstacles, of which are really nonexistent! It seems that even the sides of the pavement produces drag, reducing my brisk walk to a pathetic crawl. Friends around me have their goals, and are moving forwards already. Their backs all facing me, that imagery alone is suffocating.

Am I picking up redundant skills that I indulge in? Do I have no palpable goals at all...?