Lapses in Living Memory

I felt a great and intense inclination to post, and the paragraph formed like this in my head (if I used 'brain' here people will snidely question the existence of one), "In this life of many ups and downs..."

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First I wanted to say something that was inspirational, in the midst of the struggling that I see in this cold, dark reality.

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Then I realised that I was ill-equipped, and poorly positioned to pen such motivational writings as I was not very personally involved in jihad - the struggle for survival in life. Also, my great and intense inclination quickly fades away, leaving an equally great and intense void in its place. You ask, how can an emptiness be great and intense?

It could be. Only recently I took a short glance back at the road I was treading sometimes cautiously and sometimes recklessly and regretted a waste of four good studying days! Yes, I did attempt to complete all hypothesis testing questions in revision package 4 and studied part of my economics notes for the next lecture, but the supposedly most bountiful moments of these four days were irresponsibly spent in naught!

On hindsight, I decided to consider these four days one of the many lapses in my life. Then, I made the most shocking discovery in 18 years. These four days were nothing, for I had spent these last four years in naught. The memories were a blur, and they were not all very pleasant ones, for I had not actively sought to make them so. Edit: Though, there were good ones, which tether me to the past, being unable to move on sometimes. Unfufilled promises and hopeful regrets. The gravity of this thought hit me hard. At this point in time, I rightly felt the greatness and intensity of the void in my life.

How about you - any gaping holes in your life journey?

At that point, have you been able to make the connection to what you are now?

Again, you can't connect the dots looking forward; you can only connect them looking backwards. So you have to trust that the dots will somehow connect in your future. You have to trust in something — your gut, destiny, life, karma, whatever. This approach has never let me down, and it has made all the difference in my life.

- Steve Jobs, commencement address at Stanford

But then again, that's Steve Jobs.