Bang Bang! (IA IA!)

Blogs are tools for entertaining someone, yes? If you really just wanted a space to vent all your secret deep dark inner angsty mcangstysonness you might as well get a diary.

Plagiarism!

I did try to keep a diary! I really did.

My first diary dissolved into nothingness after a couple of entries. I tried to record to the smallest detail but it became too tiring.

My second one began a few years later and ended up as a storage for passwords and computer data.

The third and last became my book of expenses.

...

Just got back from outfield yesterday. It was a disaster! I think our drills were lagi more champion than what we did during BMT. If we really did what we did for the up-slope contact right and the last chionging mission during war I would be typing this in hell now. Half the time we didn't know what to do, and the other half we had conflicting ideas of what the hell (--> in camp this word would be replaced with an expletive) was going on. And there was the usual crowd that made everything 2x as unbearable.

The only fun things were the sentry duty convo on the comms. (The commanders threatened to turn us out if they managed to sneak under our security so we put up sentries.)

For example:

1)

Excited Voice: "Sentry 2 to LPS...there is a mysterious figure moving around in the bushes in front of me. Over."

LPS: "LPS to Sentry 2...how big is the figure? Over."

Sentry 2: "Er..it is not very big over."

LPS: "LPS to Sentry 2. Is it human? Over."

Sentry 2: "Sentry 2 to LPS...it does not appear to be human...looks like a boar. Over."

LPS: "(-.-) Okay report back to me if it gets too close over."

2) When I was moving downhill with my buddy to replace the previous sentry...

"HALT!"

LPS: "Sentry 3 was it you who shouted halt?"

(Static)

(Here I stepped on a large twig.)

Crack.

Nervous Voice: "Sentry 4 to LPS. I heard a lock crack in my 6 o'clock position."

LPS: "Roger Sentry 4. LPS to Sentry 3. Was it you who shouted halt?"

Me: "Er Section 3 to LPS, there seemed-"

Excited Voice: "Sentry 2 to LPS. Two dark figures seen walking downhill."

(I was blinded with a xenon torchlight.)

Me: "Section 3 to LPS. There seemed to be a misunderstan-"

Sentry 3: "Roger. There is an unidentified person carrying a weapon moving in my direction."

Me: "Er-"

LPS: "Okay use the challenging procedure."