Self Bake Much Filling =/

Can any computing man tell me what is internal server error? Some HTTP 500 =/ I went to search and the first line that presented itself was "Webmasters should be running Windows Server 2008". Yeah totally understood unless you took running as.. yup running. You know when you walk? But with a faster swish-swosh of your 2 legs (assuming you are a biped). But what comes after sounded so geeky I decided to stow it away in a sneaky crevice and forget about it forever.

I came across this line in a forum

"Rank is what you wear. Appointment is what you hold. Respect is what you earn."

There are a couple of friends whom I like them to remember this line.

Ahh, friends.

"Concerto"

My mind was wandering during the "concerto". I was replaying this morning's events again and again in my mind's eye.

Bus-ed with keith/kidding/wanker home. I learnt what is "dry swimming".

Annual Open

I just reached home not long ago, looking more tanned and, tired? I don't look tired, but I have been going home late for the past couple of days. And sleeping late for some nights. Not to mention strange but sweet dreams.

Warning: Post few can relate to... =/
Today was the Annual Archery Open/Junior Championships 2008, held at ZhengHua National Archery Range (which was just some random field in the Choa Chu Kang area). Dad and I had fun searching for the place in the morning, swearing at some guy who gave wrong directions. Turns out we have to turn into Bukit Panjang Road from Woodlands Road, then turn left again into Bukit Panjang Ring Road (encircled by Bukit Panjang LRT system).

The lethargy didn't get to me today! All my focus was either diverted by my nervousness, or concentrated at the target paper. I was sandwiched by 2 guys from NJC. Their blog: NJC Archery. The left-handed guy is Ghim Siang, and Detail A is Marcus. I got the middle target - the one at eye level! =D But I guess I let myself down anyway, even with a position I liked. My drawing arm was shaking during the sighter rounds, partly because I was unfamiliar with competition routine. But the setting was good in the sense that left-handers would not face the sun. I had my right retina scorched after half an hour baking in the sun rays. But I got into the situation quickly. I was wearing the PPCC words above my heart, I felt that I couldn't let Mr Tang, Coach Sunny, Sarvesh and the rest of the archers down.

I promise that I tried my best, but I just wasn't good enough - yet. I'm not a good archer because I panic easily. I suppose I exercise my heart by getting panicky (could help with my blood pressure?). The panic sends my knees knocking together, and if I was facing a good archer I will be affected. But today I wasn't affected by this.

I did a follow-up on my mistakes, and the main one is the release, but it is a major mistake, because I'm using too much strength from my drawing fingers. They shouldn't be feeling the strain. That will affect the release. My bow-arm was perfect today though.

I learnt a lesson today. Archery is competitive, but only within yourself. I lost to a hell lot of archers, but I lost to myself today. When you draw the arrow, you have no extra focus left to watch others. You focus, on that yellow spot. Then with a cool head and some gut feel, you go for a smooth release: 稳如山，静如石，顺如风

Marshmallow and choc cake

Alright so now the fishy stuff is out in the open, I hope sexy PJ and short Ew enjoyed it!
-
Now I shouldn't be online, I need the energy tomorrow morning.

Liberal amounts of marshmallow spread =D

Its near 1am! And I just ate a hotdog bun. I know lewis says no food after 7 but but but I'm hungry! D:

Today was TOP SECRET MISSION again, and mission accomplished! Amidst copious amounts of bunnylicious marshmallow spread and Fairprice butter =D I hope it is good on the tastebuds. Now what's lacking are more photos and a glass bottle =)

So our scrapbook looks like this:

female rabbit =P

group profile =)

photos...

TFs! =D

activities!

some snapshots

reflections

and more reflections...

see the "Thank You"? =X

Mary Crismoos If =)

Today was scrapbooking with hx yuqi lin-lewis jingmei and euu! As usual some people were late! But some people went to scout for printing shops so i guess tts a forgiven issue =) We don't have photos now, although 25 bucks were spent in a discreet fashion somewhere somehow =0, but we are counting on the Clementi shop, at 20cents per 4R! Oh and we have several meaningful words like SENSATIONAL and HAPPY!

As we parted ways for some obscure reason we were exchanging surreptitious glances and sniggering away. Fishy :S

this is some stocking that i tried to fold myself some time ago..
-
As the school holidays hastily converge for a nasty closure, the general unfriendly schooling aura starts to appear in patches, flashing at irregular intervals, but increasingly frequent. The gloom looms ahead.

Weijie had a nasty disagreement with my pm - the part on love being freeware. To quote my detractor:

"lol how can u say love is freeware.. love is sacred and reserved only for those we care about the MOST. not downloadable haha"

"what do you think?"

开心便当 didn't radiate rigorous elation or rustic joy. I was in an enervated and languid mood, shaken about the year-end shoot on 28th. There were no more outdoor practices until then, and the under-18s participating were bound to be highly skilled.

I also felt emotionally inadequate today. Oh wells.

So I turned to teh for some comfort. It's a comfort beverage for me: slurping hungrily from a mug of teh gives the feeling of smokers sucking deeply on their cigars after a long day, though it also gives me the demeanor of a coffeeshop ah pek.

Paint Brush

I keep my paint brush with me
Wherever I may go,
In case I need to cover up
So the real me doesn't show.
I'm so afraid to show you me,
Afraid of what you'll do - that
You might laugh or say mean things.
I'm afraid I might lose you.

I'd like to remove all my paint coats
To show you the real, true me,
But I want you to try and understand,
I need you to accept what you see.
So if you'll be patient and close your eyes,
I'll strip off all my coats real slow.
Please understand how much it hurts
To let the real me show.
Now my coats are all stripped off.

I feel naked, bare and cold,
And if you still love me with all that you see,
You are my friend, pure as gold.
I need to save my paint brush, though,
And hold it in my hand,
I want to keep it handy
In case someone doesn't understand.
So please protect me, my dear friend
And thanks for loving me true,
But please let me keep my paint brush with me
Until I love me, too.

-David, Wizard of Oz

I ran into the gang attached to sunlove today! They recognised me because I was wearing the YV shirt. And why was I wearing the YV shirt? In moral support of my team mates working hard at B.Well. Ahh, wonder what I missed out :/

Oh, and I always think that it's better to have never loved than have and lost.





In theory, of course. It's ever so heartwarming to love.

Version 2.0

Close friends
Parting; sweet sorrow
Not so close,
And good riddance!

HBP

Omg I have an incredibly high blood pressure. So perhaps my prediction of dying at the age of 60 from a heart attack is possibly true.

I am not encouraging treating death with a nonchalant attitude; it's just that by then, Mum and Dad would have passed on, while Sis has her family, and I would have no more responsibilities other than myself. Perhaps it appeals to some, the seemingly romantic notions of living by yourself so that no one has to worry about you. Are you worried that people are worrying about you?

I am sometimes guilty of not loving my family members. The reason was not unlike taking them for granted, but really, I guess that it is because maintaining long-term relationships will tend toward being habitual. And that probably applies to more than kinship.

Occasionally I attempt to project into the muddled future, but I see not any vestige of success at work, nor do I see myself in a family portrait with wife and kids. All that is positive remains cast in fantasy. It is hard to move on when there are so many past magnets of happiness and victories, whereas the future seems bleak and dense. I do try, making use of small opportunities that happen by; hopefully they can become minor milestones. ((:

Sigh, for YV attachment is coming to an end.

I am currently readying myself for a home for the Intellectually-Disabled. And...I need the toilet!! *rushes off*

Did I mention that memories fade?

One day when I become a veteran of life, I am going to forget that I have ever given love, and I'll be wondering why my heart is chipped, scarred and messy.

The Most Beautiful Heart

The Most Beautiful Heart

One day a young man was standing in the middle of the town proclaiming that he had the most beautiful heart in the whole valley.

A large crowd gathered and they all admired his heart for it was perfect. There was not a mark or a flaw in it. Yes, they all agreed it truly was the most beautiful heart they had ever seen. The young man was very proud and boasted more loudly about his beautiful heart.

Suddenly, an old man appeared at the front of the crowd and said, "Why, your heart is not nearly as beautiful as mine." The crowd and the young man looked at the old man's heart. It was beating strongly, but full of scars, it had places where pieces had been removed and other pieces put in, but they didn't fit quite right and there were several jagged edges. In fact, in some places there were deep gouges where whole pieces were missing.

The people stared ­ "How can he say his heart is more beautiful?" they thought.

The young man looked at the old man's heart and saw its state and laughed. "You must be joking," he said. "Compare your heart with mine, mine is perfect and yours is a mess of scars and tears."

"Yes," said the old man, "Yours is perfect looking but I would never trade with you. You see, every scar represents a person to whom I have given my love - I tear out a piece of my heart and give it to them, and often they give me a piece of their heart which fits into the empty place in my heart, but because the pieces aren't exact, I have some rough edges, which I cherish, because they remind me of the love we shared."

"Sometimes I have given pieces of my heart away, and the other person hasn't returned a piece of his heart to me. These are the empty gouges - giving love is taking a chance. Although these gouges are painful, they stay open, reminding me of the love I have for these people too, and I hope someday they may return and fill the space I have waiting. So now do you see what true beauty is?"

[Author unknown]

Happy Bday linwei! :)) I suppose it's not too late? hahahs.
-
What a messy week; my brains, my soul and my heart have been muddled about by reckless thoughts and gormless behaviour. And now my face is messed up by an abrasion. It's swollen in a rather suave fashion, I'd think, so I should be attracting gazes of admiration and glares of jealousy in the following week when I go out to meet the world.

And when next week is over we part:

If people were close
parting is such sweet sorrow
If but people are not close
The friendship fades
Parting widens chasms

2 days without, 2 last days with, and many many days no more :/

My eyelids droop at temporal intervals, occasionally shielding my pink eyes and blinding me to the already dark path that sits ahead of me. Allowing a fidget or two sometimes I pause to delve into my heart to withdraw feelings that have accidentally slipped there.

I always think that my thoughts will ooze out of my ears if I think them too loudly. It's a frightening concept.

Don't we all love some cooked, roasted, grilled, baked, sir-fried, deep-fried, barbequed, steamed and stewed rabbit buns?

Ahh, the happiness of devouring those cute bunnies! :D

Due to a sudden turn of events, Cine was unfortunately rejected (yeah we are a bunch of rejects) by Cheshire and just as we were approaching the confusing crossroads of life, trudging in a path of doubt, we were kindly adopted by Geylang Polyclinic (also thanks to euuunice who claimed she fought tooth and nail for that beneficiary). Ahh, poor souls who have to volunteer in marsiling, my heart goes out to you.

Yes, best TF we have :))

For a few sparkling moments I could have been enjoying the attachment. Some of the elderly are on the talkative side, talking (sometimes rambling on) about their various bright experiences in their lives. I enjoyed a near blow-by-blow account of an old resident's gone-through-WWII-life, and forwarded through a jolly re-live of an old lady's get-up-and-go attitude.

I conversed with some residents; most said they have children (and many!), but busy people they were, so the home was a place to ensure that the old man at home didn't had too many accidents. Since they had to pay an exorbitant monthly fee of S$580, I trusted this frequent allegory.

Though I supposed that exorbitant fee doesn't always include guarantee of no accidents. There was a resident who stuttered a lot; it was very difficult to know what he is saying. (At a point, you have to suggest what you think he is trying to say; if you are right he will say a definite 'yes' without stuttering and vice versa.) He wouldn't get up from his seat. I reckoned he fell before due to negligence on a particular nurse's part =X

Since it's christmas, and we all love volunteering so much, here's an email I got:

"This christmas we have a new way to spread holiday cheer. Inside a small wooden house, 25 days were marked and behind each door there was a small slip of paper with a good deed on it as well as a piece of candy. Each day we would do that deed and when we were finished we would get that piece of candy. I guess that piece of candy was there for motivation but to tell the truth we really didn't need it; the idea was for the cause. The deeds inside the box would vary from donating clothes to goodwill and writing a letter to someone you haven't seen in a while. The deeds were as creative as much as they were fun and giving. I would recommend that you and your family do this idea one year. You will truly benefit because I know we have. --hmarcoux37"

On another note: vincent feels uneasy.

Look forward vincent look forward. Vincent has deleted all his previous posts as a reminder of the repercussions living in the past brings about.

Ahh, the sore throat monster has me O.O

Some random picture

YVIP :D

有人说只在乎曾经拥有，把美好的回忆小心翼翼地用保鲜膜纕起来，轻轻地收在脑袋的一个小角落。但岁月的磨擦，不断地围绕着我们所谓的回忆周旋，在不知觉的情况下渐接把它瓦解。

Perhaps life was meant to revolve around like this, but I have had fun; I found love, some hope, a little faith, that would be sufficient wouldn’t it?

: )

似乎还可以听到眼泪跌在砖块的滴答声，整个气氛是湿湿的。所谓天下无不散之宴席，今日之缘，又何时能再以重现？

Thanks to euuunice and no-cloud for their guidance and care. thanks to euuunice for pushing me about. that fall on the travellator was wit-tearing =O