天有不测之风云

明天开学，我却在文具包里发现了不祥的预兆。。。请看以下一截截斩断的思绪、破碎的梦想断掉的铅笔芯。大难临头了？！

"Doorman Heights School Eliminating All 3H2 1H1 Subject Combinations By 2050"

And...A levels are 15 weeks away.

What the shit.

TQ

We got 2nd place! Amazing!

:0

:D

近日没有更新博客内容，今日来更一更，但也不知有何事向大家宣布？来看看《江湖笑》歌词吧。

江湖笑

恩怨了

人过招

笑藏刀

红尘笑

笑寂寥

心太高

到不了

明月照

路迢迢

人会老

心不老

爱不到

放不掉

忘不了

你的好

看似花非花物非物

滔滔江水留不住

一身豪情壮志铁傲骨

原来英雄是孤独

江湖笑

爱逍遥

琴或箫

酒来到

仰天笑

全忘了

潇洒如风轻飘飘

江湖笑

爱逍遥

琴或箫

酒来到

仰天笑

全忘了

潇洒如风轻飘飘

江湖笑

爱逍遥

爱或恨

都不要

仰天笑

全忘了

潇洒如风轻飘飘

Perturbed

Of late I have been feeling cranky and disordered (not that I don't often feel messed up, but anyway it is more intense now). After showing some symptoms of mental disorders I took it upon myself to do some research to check my nutcase status. The first search term was

"Paranoid"

But it further led to

"Schizophrenia"

"Paranoid personality disorder"

"Obessessive-compulsive disorder"

"Erotomania"

"Mental disorder"

etc.

Blah blah blah. But instead of spending too much time in my head fathoming about abominable psychological crises I decided to dedicate this post to a heartfelt friend, whose dad got into a tricky situation recently.

A sometimes-regular visitor to his settlement/establishment, I would run into Mr. Dad once in a while. He was the kind of dad who gave curt nods and had an icy demeanor, and everytime Mr. Dad made his ominous appearance I would hurriedly bid my goodbyes and make moxious escapes out of his unfathomable aura. Secretly I wondered if he might scold me for looking at his fish, watching his TV, and breathing his oxygen. But of course, I also made his son change from an obnoxious errant rogue to a goodish (but still obnoxious) young man, so maybe he mightn't.

Mr. Dad and Ex-rogue didn't exactly have an extremely rosy father-son relationship, and sometimes they argued over what seemed like major issues, until Mr. Dad was hospitalised.

And then he learnt he loved him, in this terrible fashion, and fortunately Mr. Dad was not too ill, and Ex-rogue was relieved.

Now why am I writing all this out..

Love your family.

An update of my boring life in Sillypore

Rarh have been immersed in thinkquest these few days, eyes staring at screen for a few hours at a stretch. I'm surprised my notebook can take it, operating more than 10 to 13 hours without rest each time, given that the engine heats up to over 70 deg at full throttle and stews around at 50 deg in power saver mode (provided it's not plugged in). My keys look extraordinarily worn out now, and so are my fingers, blistering due to ELCWK: Extremely Long Contact With Keyboard.

Okay they are not blistering, but my eyes are. And my head is. My peers are doing probability and chemistry revision and whatnot, as what Wing reminded me what I should be doing, and I am on the com for 5 eighths of my day. I'm not complaining! It's just that my head spins when I think of the work waiting. And months after I finished that work and did my 'A's, then after that? It pains me just to think that my maximum effort is only someone else's minimal. What are my chances in this competitive society?

D:

Rarh gotta go bathe my sweaty armpits. It's sweltering hot! ''._.'' (sweat droplets on both sides of my face)

If you can't keep your emotional, physical, financial and spiritual life together, don't expect any sort of long-term connection. D:

Ok so now I'm online to find an article for GP, to appease Miss Quek :D

失落与空虚

Just got back from PPCC, witnessed a quarrel between Coach and hunting-bowman. It was kind of scary, cuz the bowman looked like he was all for a fight. He was jabbing his fingers and shouting.
~

So we got back our PW results today. I guess my group was pretty disappointed, except they didn't show it. All my teammates had decent grades so a poor PW grade would probably mar their result slips. I was the academic retard, and I thought.. that it couldn't get any worse. It has been long since I had high hopes for something, wanting something to happen, and hoping it will. Because of my repeated setbacks I had become stoic and unmotivated. And I believe in the eyes of others I am just a failure who scrapes through trials and manages to stay in a studious environment.

But the worst part was that I wasn't even trying to change that impression of me. I have become so accustomed to failure, that another one wouldn't appear to hurt. Since people were forever better than me, it would be alright to be just average. And that was what I would be, if I tried hard. Trying hard to be an average Joe. Yep, that is me. It is naive to believe that life will be great for the hardworking janitor. Life can only be good for the hardworking CEO.

~

学之道：心里空虚。

CSC Farewell

Today was CSC's cute little farewell, sending us the beloved seniors away on a Journey to the 'A's. So there were pizzas and chocolatey biscuits, and hopefully some sense of nostalgia.

Perhaps in CSC at this level everyone knew each other and there weren't much 同生共死 activities to ride out, so we couldn't get into the mood of sobbing into a puddle of tears. But the impromptu reflection was varied and sinuous, with Elvis posing questions like an interviewer. Were we all born detached and impersonal, to be cultivated with kind surroundings to become a moral soul? Or did we come to this pragmatic world with an evil streak in us?

And dear Lyon was like in a quandary! Her kind soul was mesmerised by the symposium of altruism and good-heartedness in this pragmatic society, but there was Dance too! :S

But anw anw, our nice chairperson still managed to churn out literature for the members! Oh talking about nice, here's something about Lyonic Reasoning: Cookies are nice. Sam is nice. Therefore Sam is Cookies. In case you are wondering if Cookies refers to somebody, they are...really cookies.

Wing: "Lyon Lyon have you seen Sam?"
Lyon: "No I haven't but do you want some cookies?" (What's the link?? xD)
Wing: "..."
Lyon: "They're really nice!"

...
Oh so this is the literature I received:

This reminds me of an NP song: On The First Day Of NP
On the first day of NP, my CI gave to me
1) A mango and papaya tree
On the second day of NP, my CI gave to me
2) Two coconuts and a mango and papaya tree
3) Three jackfruits ...

So it was like:

On the last day of CSC my chairman gave to me
1) Some lingo and papers of three (3 pieces of paper)
On the last day of CSC my club gave to me
2) Two sweets and some lingo and papers of three
On the last dayof CSC my chairman said to me
3) In-efficient!...

Anw anw, thanks to Mr Tan SH, Miss Christine Tan for the past guidance, especially during periods of unrest and difficulty. Thanks to the year 5s for a cute little farewell, even when they may never see this. I hope they will take the time to read what we left behind. :) Thanks to CSC, for providing some insights into life as a whole (or hole?), and getting into touch with the sometimes little-cared for part of the community.

shinging

I'M NOT GOING TO BE LATE FOR GP AGAIN. Refer to list of 25 random stuffs about me, number 11.
"I can't sing, at all. Please don't drag me to teoheng or kbox. I will just curl up and die."

Loss III

A third kind of loss - losing sleep.

Loss II

Looking back, what constitutes a loss? Something that you once possessed? If that is so, what happens to the losers of the field? In a purely capitalistic world a fight determines winners. There is no win-win situation, because win-win situations call for compromises to be made. And a compromise will reduce the pleasure or satisfaction of the winning party, and if too large a compromise is condoned no one gets any benefits, and it is a lose-lose situation anyway.

Losing has its benefits. Either for the winner or loser. For the smart and optimistic loser a defeat simply spurs him on to retrieve what he had lost. For the weak simpleton, a defeat is the end of the world, but it is also a bonus for the winner - to see his opponent fall on his knees, crushed and demoralised. It is an added satisfaction, to see the extent of the damage that he can exert.

A loss is only something that one has failed to gain.

Loss

Prepare to lose, or possess little to lose?
'You know, you come from nothing - you're going back to nothing.What have you lost? Nothing!' -Eric Idle (Monty Python)
Losses ae vicissitudes; to live one's life with a preparedness to lose is exhausting. It is too much of a burden to have this mentality forever switched on. Of course, we should not live in complacency and believe in a naive manner - that what (or really, who) we possess will steadfastly stay by our side.

要等到失去，才懂得珍惜

How many enlightened souls do not commit what is stated above? How many times do we remind ourselves to cherish, but in the end, cry out our woes, for we have not exploit every second we spent with our loved ones; have not professed our love brazenly to them, told them our dreams and fantasies; have not put in our best in life?

-

What I conclude, is that cherishing is impossible, because taking things for granted is a human instinct. Whereas being prepared to lose, is just a Utopian state of mind in this volatile and unpredictable world of today.

In response to dc gray

Whoop!

So the holidays are midway exhausted, and the imminent onslaught of school is blinking on the horizon. Ok, I don't really adore Facebook, so here's my list of 25 random stuffs:


1) My stomach used to have 2 shades of colour, so it was slightly darker on one side than the other.

2) I am left-handed. My font slants towards the right, like italics.

3) One of my eyes is smaller. Inherited from great-grandpa. Haiya I have small eyes anyway.

4) As a kid I had fantastical dreams of becoming an army officer.

5) I scrimp on food to save for something material that I really like. Something I doubt my PWmates will do! :D

6) I have no appetite in the morning.

7) Even when Wing communicates using msn or sms, I can hear her voice inside my head. Strange.

8) I have a sudden inclination to study biomechanics and work at Singapore Sports Council as a Sports Biomechanist, which is mostly impossible.

9) I also have a sudden inclination to study product design and design mobile phones (that won't have easily-damaged scroll wheels). But I have absolutely no inkling of how to use CAD/Photoshop; another impossible inclination.

10) I always wear size 32 pants. I don't know why; they seem to fit perfectly when I don them during a purchase. They then proceed to droop when I go to school. A lot. Ahh, the gravity in school is 99999ms-2.

11) I can't sing, at all. Please don't drag me to teoheng or kbox. I will just curl up and die.

12) Back in Sec 2 I really like indoor soccer boots, so I made a promise to myself that as long as I can play on the same level as Greg I would get a cheap variant. Alas, that day never came. I have 2 left feet and can never play sports. Or dance. Yep, or dance.

13) I have a violence tendency, I think. Especially towards little kids. When I was young I saw a kiddo peep at someone changing at an apparel store (unintentionally of course, or he was really horny). I had the insane urge to dangle him upside down at that time. Then there the noisy kids on the train... (If they were cute they were forgivable.)

14) Extremely disorganised is me. I only start packing up when I don't have any tables left in the house to study at.

15) I used to bully june bugs. I regret that. It haunts me. When I think of it.

16) I used to bully ants too. Maybe it made me feel powerful to lord over insects. Since I was being bullied in primary school. Nah I wasn't. Only twice.

17) I can't take crustaceans. Prawns and crabs. And yabbies. They give me an itchy throat. Don't adore them anyway.

18) Sweet corn is a reminder of my quiet, stumbling self in kindergarten.

19) Was an NP kid.

20) Have more polo tees than T-shirts (haha yeah it's the "xC shirts").

21) No slippers! Prefers shoes.

22) I have a terrapin..

23) (Getting shorter...) Dislikes coloured canvas shoes. Sneakers are nicer.

24) Hates running. D:

25) This one's for Wing: I am Ving *solemnly* (or vin$$, kaya, angel, or whatever)

Yikes, time for a haircut! D:

Health

NUS Open House wasn't extremely exciting, but I now am more affirmed of the various faculties.
-
I need some life maintainence. Nope, not chicken soup for the soul, but physiological fixes, patches and upgrades. I look healthy and rosy and brown outside, but lurking deep down I suspect a gathering of tapeworms and other fluffy monstrous creatures, in connivance to wreak havoc on my physical form.

An average Joe can see I'm in extremely poor form. I tired easily, have short attention span, oily face, and the occasional chest aches. Not counting the instances when my heart goes 200 miles per hour. It's pretty scary. I wonder what my mindef medical checkup will say. Oh I got a further reporting order from mindef; says that I failed to register on the ns portal. What a joke. Screwed-up website.

Argh. I got a headache, and my phone is spoilt. My smses!! D:
-
I'm not a hardcore fan of reading horoscopes, but here's one for Scorpios today:
"...really wants to get to know you, but that stone-cold veneer is impenetrable."
Ahh, am I a frosty person? Cold and not emotive? It's just that I cannot express myself properly :)

拜六了拜六了!

I woke up on the wrong side of bed today - not literally, no (which would be the the wrong side anyway?) - it's the ache in my eyeballs and the heavy muscles that live in misery and lethargy.
-



Xiong Mao! :D