画面

I have started a new blog (see left)! Well it's not new - about one and a half year since it made its quiet debut - but I have started building its content, and by doing so I hope I can be spurred on to keep doing it. Makes sense? Take a look first. It's not great but I'm trying to improve. If one day it becomes/seems great to you please do share with your friends.

You may notice that my titles often don't coincide with their corresponding posts, so I will put more effort into thinking up more relevant titles, rather than words that describe my current moods or recent experiences. In today's case, I am referring to the moving images that are conjured in my mind when I read fiction books.

Do most people read like this?

When I do, I have a (bad) habit of skimming over the words - especially if the action gets fast but the sentences react disproportionately - and put more concentration into the visualisation and emotions of that exact moment. I find that I get a richer experience overall than when trying to absorb each word or character.

My choice of books of late includes those in the《四大名捕》series by 温瑞安 and my first ever 古龙 novel:《七种武器》. So far my impressions are that these titles deviate slightly from the good-triumphs-over-evil stories of loyalty and brotherhood from 金庸 that many people wish they can see in reality (but if so then books will be written about worlds in which evil triumphs over good instead).

Here's a screenshot to end off:

Google Translate fail

Also, the Bluetooth on my laptop has started showing signs of defiance. My wireless mouse has been denied all rights and I am back to the trackpad. On the bright side, my trackpad allows dragging now!

Omu Rice

九把刀

Today I did many small foolish things, some seen and others concealed:

I mistook the curry that came with my lunch as soup and took a large spoonful of it. And I only connected the dots with the distinct taste of curry five seconds after I did this.

I followed the wrong agent into the working area of the office when I was job-seeking.

I came out at the wrong landing when taking a lift that only catered to three storeys.

I stood in aisles of toys looking for playthings that were created for less than half my age.

And things that went unspoken and yet hovered in the air.

And perhaps many others which went unnoticed by myself.

Sometimes I sleep late.

Because I can't sleep at earthly hours; I toss and turn going through the 'horrifying' experiences I underwent that day, and I always come up with a better solution to each problem, a better reaction to what somebody said, a better emotion that I should have felt. I 'day'-dream about my counterpart in an alternate universe. If you are interested, I can share my/their stories with you.

The only way to fall asleep then is to stay up late. Only when the body is wasted can you fall asleep more easily.

Lunch was an average Tonkatsu Curry Omu Rice and Tori Teriyaki Maki which sorely lacked its teriyaki-ness. And tori-ness. I managed to pass on my chopstick kungfu (and in return was enlightened with other knowledge). Had planned to have Soyato afterwards to wash it down, and a visit to the temple to ease the stomach, but an unplanned appointment forced me to discard my cards.

I've tried to keep myself engaged during my long break but somehow my efforts just keep breaking up. What constitutes a necessary evil and what is something that is only done for the sake of doing? I am a visionary enthusiast, with a short attention span and no backbone. There are things to be done and jobs to be had, yet these obligations are left hanging. Why are there so many constraints? Why does there only appear to be one narrow path before me. I am alone in a minefield, and I must help myself. But the path gets so narrow, I'm walking on  tiptoe. Then I'm walking on one foot, tiptoe. Then it gets too demanding and you would rather give up and just lie down on the minefield, ah, how momentarily comforting the cold, hard ground is going to be and then boom, you are blasted to unrecognisable debris.

Which is the right thing to do, and which is the easy way out? Is the easy way always the wrong thing?

Feel the fat

After a few months of proudly declaring how long-lasting my Nokia 6700 Classic has been, something ominous has finally occurred: the device takes pretty long to open a short message, and sometimes fails to open messages at all. But I don't swallow my words; I believe something is wrong with the SIM card. Time to spend that $15 to get the replacement I have been putting out for a while.

When you have no income or allowance, you feel the pinch more. So I've been thinking to re-contract to the iOne Value with a SMS value-added service:

iOne Value
- Plan $15                                 80 minutes, 50 messages
- Caller ID $5
- VAS $5.35                            600 messages
Total: $25.35

iOne Plus
- Plan $24 (discounted rate)      100 minutes, 500 messages
- Caller ID $5
Total: $29

I have a 30% discount on all mobile lines currently, and have not included the GST for the above. Idea?

:A Visionary Enthusiast:

Source: Dictionary.com

I was thinking of switching the positions of the links on the left to make a side profile of a face - the kind of face formed by the outline of vases, you know? But was too lazy to try.

Don't leave me to my own devices

There seems to be some correlation between sitting posture/eye-alignment to screen and mood changes. Slouching about makes for some procrastination and makes your brain a noisy void; sitting up at the table of proper height gives the thought processes more clarity.

Your habits interfere in your affairs. Having the television on drives away concentration but someone talking on the phone nearby isn't as bad. A messy desk appears to be fine but the mind is conscious of the clutter and stops you from being your creative best. A chair adjusted too low results in the edge of the palm-rest cutting into your wrists and less typing moxie. Putting snacks nearby pulls you away from your throne now and then. Through the windows people crossing the overhead bridge unknowingly demand your attention. The repeated swiping motions you make on your touchpad taut and restrict your muscles. You strain to see the bright screen in low lighting. Your brow tenses. Your eyes get dry, and bloodshot from the rubbing thereafter.

Your habits become you.

Poorly translated as: MOE seeks to encourage good conduct with Good Morality Award 

Today's newspapers. What in the world? And there it lies, proudly, as the headlines.

House arrest with internet

Doesn't my table make a nice background?

Packets of these are thrown away, alongside boxes of uneaten rations for the three meals catered for one 24 hours guard duty. Every time the wastage gets to me and I discreetly salvage one bag of neatly-packed coffee, disposable cups, or cup noodles; deep inside I was afraid of being seen as a niggard, though I believe most people possess a stash of 'Super' cup noodles taken from the guardhouse. Emergency rations for people like us who either miss the meal hours or fail to appreciate the indented consumables.

Right now I am under house arrest. Medical leave prohibits me from leaving the house and I am dependent on crutches/roller chair at home to move about. I have abrasions at the sides of my torso from moving about too much with the crutches but thanks to SAF powder the wounds clean up pretty fast. Seriously, I swear by SAF powder for all abrasions. I will always welcome house visits - but only in the day, unfortunately - for I become awkward between my folks and friends when they congregate in the same space.

Still reading? Awesome! Because this turned out to be a very disjointed and monotonous post. Nevertheless, I shall Soldier on. You may have discovered a series of new links at the side (<--). These help me pass the time when I am not playing a Chinese online game 神仙道 (if interested, join for free and add me as friend; my character name is 上官丝月). Yes, female character, I know.

'Soldier on' is the name I gave to 'Bring the Heat, Bring the Stupid' to give you an idea of what the link points you to. It is a really good military website that provides foreign news (mostly American I guess), be it policies, happenings or the opinions of the author and other writers. There is also a wealth of information on weapon systems and soldiering equipment of all scale. 'Researching' (Google) on the MATADOR HEAT brought me here, and further introduced me to more variants of anti-tank weapons such as the SPIKE, AT4 and the Javelin. As a weapons SME in SCS I was ashamed that I had no additional weapons training compared to the non-weapons dudes. Other than reading lesson plans (which were occasionally out-of-date), the Internet was a great buff to my theoretical know-how.

The food websites are excellent sources of food trails all over this sunny island, though I try not to read them nowadays to avoid getting hunger pangs. My waistline is gradually expanding back to pre-enlistment inches and I can feel the fitness levels dropping drastically. The physiotherapist estimates that I can go back to jogging in approximately three months' time; I hope I can still jog 2 km by then without passing out?

I also drop by Yahoo! News once in a while to keep myself abreast of local affairs, despite the occasional poorly-written article and sometimes dated news (olds?). I started reading Geekologie again as of yesterday: Jubilant posts spanning a wide variety of subject matters. It led me to several videos that I usually would not watch, such as short Lego stop motion films, slapstick Star Wars humour, cute girls playing good music, or unbelievable gadgets that actually exist.

Of course, I have never stopped reading physical books. Recently finished 'The Places in Between' by Rory Stewart and juggling two other books about Afghanistan. All three books let you look at the different aspects of the warring country that cannot be more unimaginable, through the eyes of the authors. Reading them together can be a good, if not messy, experience. Learning more about Afghanistan makes me pay more attention to what happens in other conflicted states in this 乱世, like Syria (Homs) and Libya.

Secret I

Let me share a secret with you: When I see people with underbite in public, I pay closer attention to them to see if they show signs of unease; small behaviours which betray their anxiety about having the condition. To see if we measure up.

*Poof*

世事无绝对

Man is there anything I hate more than when my trackpad fails to work?

Alright, trying out something today. I'm using the 'Justify' format for my text, to see if it will form better visuals. Did you notice that I like to start with 'alright' and 'okay'? I talk like this, so ?naturally? it finds its way into what I write too. The habit is obvious but I cannot get rid of it. Also, on another totally unrelated note, my trackpad doesn't allow me to drag things around. I can tap and click, just not click and hold and drag. And, sometimes it just stops tracking. Vaguely annoying.

Two other annoying things happened this morning momentarily hinted that today was going to be a bad day. I quickly dismissed the thought. I slurped milo on the floor and my crutch, and maple syrup immediately after that. Oh, the horror! Right. Breakfast was something I swore never to eat: Hotcakes from Mac's. 6 bucks for three pancakes did not fit my cost-benefit-analysis properly, but I mistook their 4 bucks burger-promo for this, so.

Notice the bare patch of skin, devoid of the usual curls.

Hope all turns out well.

Decisions, ulcers, and growing out

I have once, or twice, remarked to my cadets that "the only easy day was yesterday"; yet these supposedly easy days contain memories that keep coming back to haunt me.

-§-

I successfully rigged my notebook to send video signals to my TV yesterday, by chance. Was so happy that I did a mini celebration by lying on the floor, looking up at the star- ceiling, and heaving a great sigh of relief. The harsh truth was that the computer rookie in me did not know how to change the settings for the video card so that it sends 1080p digitised signals to the TV, so my solution was to restart into OS X and change the settings there. It took me a minute or two to do it and then, I rebooted the system back into Windows and voila! Something that took me a couple of minutes in OS X took me 15 in Windows, and still couldn't get it to work. The only blame is on me, for using Windows on a Mac, without bothering to map the keyboard too.

So... The point is, I can now fully exploit the bigger screen my TV offers, to watch videos online. And if you want to, you can drop by my house to watch 'stuff' with me. ^^ Keep the unserviceable guy company, you know.

I had the honour of having Elvis and Tommy for companionship at The Meds at Orchard Central B2 for dinner tonight. I guess the conclave was not feeling ravenous as we did not order much nor were we feeling very adventurous. Mr E chose a Turkish hot plate chicken and mushroom, with tomato rice. Mr S placed an order for a thin-crust seabream and tomato pizza, Italian style. I felt indecisive and went for duck confit from the ?French? stall. Tiramisu and creme bulee to wash it down afterwards.

The tomato rice might have been authentic Italian food, but it didn't agree with our taste-buds. There is a butter rice alternative, which might have been a safer bet. According to Mr S, the seabream (some kind of fish) on the pizza tasted like chicken. I didn't like the look of the thin crust as I was a fan of Pizza Hut's thick, cheesy Pan Pizzas. The duck came with some unnamed vegetables, cheese, and a sprinkle of peanuts that taste better when consumed together with the duck. Overall, food was average and not too costly. There is no additional 10% service charge, only GST.

I don't know what is Mediterranean cuisine, but Wikipedia tells me it should be vegetable-dominant, and Meds was certainly not vegetable-dominant (good!). Shokudo beats Meds in term of variety, but it is still a pretty good place for a gathering of friends.

Cheers!

And then you walked out of my life without telling me

Went to Haw Par Villa today; not sure if I had gone there before when I was a kid. I always thought it was a mouldy and run-down place of interest marked for tearing down but hasn't been developed into something else yet because it has no value to add to. Well, if not for the 10 courts of Hell the visit might have been cut even shorter; I was pretty interested in what I would have to go through in my afterlife. Among the ghastly affairs I have to partake in would include: Digging out my heart, cutting off my tongue and if I recall correctly sawing of body into half.

Thereafter the assemblage headed off to Red Dot Design Museum to check out what kind of award-winning products advanced technology has brought us. What wow-ed me was this mini jigsaw puzzle ring, screw-less spectacles and a high-technology toilet bowl that possesses several auto-cleansing properties and a temperature-regulated seat. [Woo, "Shit just got real"]

The original plan was to proceed to Medz at Orchard Central for lunch but everyone was hungry so we settled on a close-by market/food centre. Had wanton noodles and pudding-style soya bean curd. Noodle shop is supposedly a recommendation of "成人杂志" back in 2000. That aside, I guess they are pretty good if they can stay around for more than 10 years. The soya bean curd, on the other hand, was a bit too watery. I figure it was just normal to have different stores catering to different taste-buds in this "modern soya bean curd" industry. Also, coincidentally, U Weekly did a two-page recommendation of various stalls selling soya bean curd for this week's edition. There was "老伴" from Old Airport Road, another stall from Maxwell Food Centre (which I tried, average, lady boss quite naggy), a Selegie stall at Toa Payoh and a couple others.

More dinners next week to look forward to!

Special Forces

Yes, that is the movie title. Not the most creative nor intriguing, but I had taken a special interest in warring states and conflicts of the like very recently, so I sort of watched this in a different light, like how Pakistan being a safe haven for Taliban (Taleban?) makes it difficult for ISAF soldiers and ANA to bring about permanent peace and security to Afghanistan, especially at the borders where trigger-happy Pakistani tribesmen at their observation posts threaten the lives of soldiers as much as the insurgents themselves.

Like how the most dangerous mission can simply be moving from one point to another in the dusty and mountainous regions of these two countries, where people live under the cruel sharia law and lives are lost at the blink of the eye. The Taliban rules with an iron fist and kills mercilessly. And I walked away thinking whether it was worth it. *SPOILER* Four lives in exchange for one French journalist? It's a bit like Saving Private Ryan in this sense. Except with more deaths and tragedy.

Occasional shouts of 'Welcome to Lenas!' that rang out in the restaurant sounded like 'Welcome to Venus!' to me; the server was pretty cool and fluent, the place was neat. The assemblage ordered grilled chicken pasta, bacon and mushroom baked rice, and smoked duck baked rice. Pretty alright, nothing spectacular; maybe because I wasn't ravenous! Normal prices. Water costs 30 cents.

Met with friends whom I haven't met for quite a while, hope to see them more often. Handsome Kevin lost weight, Beautiful Tanya was her usual petite self, and Indian Sarvesh was as hairy as ever. (:

Price-less movie screening

Yeah, Special.

Free screening of Mission Impossible 4!

With free cone of sweet popcorn!

This post, however, is geared towards the meal prior to the movie; Ciyi and I decided to meet for a bite and I chose Olive Vine for its value and location (Marina Square basement as the movie was at Suntec). Mr Wong chose a local fusion dish of chicken porridge in a bread bowl (ala carte price of S$7.00), not dissimilar to the "Golden Pillow" curry chicken, or clam chowder soup-in-sourdough concept. The 'cover' of the bowl is a piece of crispy yet soft garlic bread, and the thick porridge comes with a slice of hard-boiled egg. You can probably eat the bread like how you would with a fried dough fritter in the traditional Cantonese porridge.

I chose a more conventional plate of chicken steak (ala carte price of S$8.90) over a tomato-based pasta that had the options of spicy or non-spicy and three choices of meat: Chicken, pork or fish. The chicken steak, or chop, came with salad in mayonnaise dressing (nothing new there) with accompanying dry fresh lettuce, plus two large slices of good garlic bread. You can choose among pepper, mushroom and BBQ sauces to go with your chicken.

The food came piping hot and we dined quickly because it was pretty good (and we were running late for the movie). You can add S$2.00 for a large cup of beverage: Coffee, tea, lemon tea and something else; or upgrade your meal to a deluxe set meal with S$4.00, which offers a beverage and a dessert of the day. Ciyi thought the lemon tea (which he requested to be ice-less) was sufficiently strong but the dessert of the day (slice of carrot cake) was not big. I, on the other hand, ordered a big slice of tiramisu for S$4.90, WHICH WAS SO MUCH BETTER THAN VILLA DI PARMA'S S$12.90 BULLSHIT.

We are constantly warming up to each other

And yet the sad, unfortunate reality is that we took such a long time to learn how to tolerate each other. Understanding is still a great distance away, and acceptance occurs in a parallel universe.

We also give each other the cold shoulder at times, gossip and make jokes at the expense of each other. Other times, we are keeping to ourselves, absorbed in our little pizza boxes and sharing links across the Wifi instead of conversing across the room.

Constantly making effort to fit in; to be friendly; to be included, at my own expense and inconvenience, but still to end up like an uninvolved passerby, sticking out like a sore thumb. And so I believe this is the right moment to move on.

Needed some spare fabric

Bought so many of these during BMT eMart breaks.
Now can only wear in bunk.
Don't want to wear also, so ugly.

Long Dinner

Have you ever had chinese food at a chinese restaurant that served better western fare than its chinese counterpart? If you consider Xin Wang (HK) Cafe to be a chinese restaurant, then I just did. Up till tonight I have had the opportunity to try its black pepper chicken chop with spaghetti, baked rice with fish and hot coconut. All of the above-mentioned dishes were fine; well, maybe the hot coconut was a tad expensive at $7.50.

My opinion of Xin Wang changed today when I tried the self-proclaimed famous Mongkok porridge (congee, actually): Century egg with tender meat (皮蛋瘦肉粥). The porridge came in a pot, served on a china plate, but the Mongkok-ness stops here. In it were three or four quarters of egg, with a few slices of hard pork, swimming in less-than-delicious porridge. For $7.50++ the portion or taste just couldn't make it. The chicken porridge/chicken rice/dessert stall at AMK Central hawker centre serves better chicken porridge at approximately $3.50 in a more generous portion with an additional fried dough fritter.

The Chocolate Apple Sensation (velvety chocolate cake served with two sour strawberries, 1x scoop of vanilla ice cream and whipped cream) at Cafe Cartel is pretty chocolatey and there is the 50% discount for after-9pm desserts. The apple was hidden well and the dessert was much more chocolate than apple. Still, I don't have much affection for apples and like the dessert the way it is.

Was a pretty long affair and reached home at 0030.

In a turn of events

Just had a worse-than-expected lunch: Pizza and tiramisu from Villa Di Parma. Felt like a wasteful spend of $29.70. After many rave reviews on the net and HungryGoWhere, I thought about having lunch/dinner with some friends over there. But prior to that I decided to try a dish or two from its menu. I chose the Pizza E Pepperoni because I liked Pepperoni Pizzas (and some of the other pizzas were hard to pronounce) and tiramisu. I bought takeaway since I was alone at home.

When I opened the box in excitement, my jaw dropped.

With my finger for size comparison. Ignore the missing slices; I was ravenous.

Okay... I didn't ask what size the pizza will come in.. But the box made it look even smaller.

Not the sturdiest of pizzas. Also, large contrast to reviews that said "lots of mozzarella!"

After heating it up in the oven I sandwiched two slices together and ate them as one. More satisfying this way. Also, it might be due to the fact that it had turned cold, or that I heated it up in the oven; the thin, hard base tasted like those of instant pizzas you get at the supermarket.

I don't really know what should real tiramisu taste like, but this one doesn't taste like any tiramisu I have eaten before. It tasted like cake with lots of cream.

But still, maybe the Kensington Park Road-located restaurant isn't meant to cater to audiences like me, so the taste is not the most agreeable. Pizza Hut/Sarpino's any day.

In contrary to reviewers, a smile was too much for the staff to offer, but maybe it was because I only spent a measly 30 bucks.

I'm coming home

My three bunk-mates have quickly evacuated their high-quality pods in camp to expend their leave. I am leave-less and lonely, looking forward to free meals three times per day and a swim or two on a precious sunny day. Of late, my transport expenses have soared, due to the fact that I have been making daily commutes to and fro home, in a bid to escape the monotony which presents itself from 1800 hours to the time when I finally call it a day.

Back as a trainee, I called home everyday and returned home if the nights-off timing allowed it. I relished the opportunity to spend time at the place where I truly believe to be home. It was a refuge from the training.

I have dropped those habits now, though I make more frequent trips back, made possible by my current appointment - when I'm busy, I really can't make space for anything else in a day; when I'm resting, I have a lot of time. But the routine has changed. I step into home not feeling the original sense of euphoria, kick off my shoes and put down my stores. I look around: Dad is sleeping, and Mum sometimes too, on the sofa, and my sister is living her life out in front of the monitor. I greet the people who are awake, take a breather at my desk and write down my expenses for the day. The shower follows, after which I quickly retreat to my room and live the two hours or so in front of my LCD screen. Sometimes there is delicious home-cooked dinner, but it doesn't matter, for I have started to prefer junk food.

Using the better amenities at home has become the reason for going home. The much higher download and upload speeds, the bandwidth that you didn't have to share with anyone else, save for a sibling, and a hot shower. And being away from the prying eyes of nosy neighbours, too, though that transformed into the prying eyes of a mother trying hard to become a part of her children's world.

I've never been much bothered about personal privacy, especially not at home, but for some reason, part of me has recently started crying out for that small space, specially for at home, at least when I'm cooped up in my bedroom. A safe haven for me to accomplish missions and side quests, without anyone asking probing questions about what I've been up to.

And of course, there are the strained relationships that I don't think anyone has noticed. I feel that my normal working-class family is slowly turning dysfunctional. Not in a very serious and lethal manner, but in a way that makes me feel that each of us is no longer assuming the role of a proper family member. The father figure is no longer present to me, and the mother seemed to have been trapped in the past. The sibling follows a dull and certainly unhealthy routine. I myself outgrew the waistline of a pair of trousers I bought more than a year ago. The family takes less pleasure in conversation and are either sleeping or not really saying much.

I catch myself looking forward excessively to gatherings with friends on weekends, just to get away from both camp and home. It is quite distressing, sometimes.

Interesting

Dug up some rather interesting articles resting amongst notes that I have recently discarded carelessly. Pretty good reads.

Another random piece of writing:

    I remember, when I first got my hands on my uniform, I was churning with excitement. I put it on using the buttons from the school uniform (because the original buttons were not yet issued) and examined myself in the mirror. No clothes have yet given me as much pleasure wearing them.


    I struggled to shine my boots the night before my first activity to no avail. I must admit I was irritated and afraid on the day itself, because my uniform was not up to standard.


    That was almost three years ago. Now, here I was, never more unwillingly so, leaving an organisation that had given me the opportunities to shine, of which I never grasp properly and I know that I am walking away with lots of regrets. How I wish to backtrack to where I had been, lost as a cadet, a rookie NCO, to learn everything right from the start.

    It is a terrible feeling to live with the fact that I have let down my teammates when they voted me into the campcraft team. It is pure anguish that I have lost the last chance to prove my worth as part of Rifle Team just simply because of a sudden uprising in emotions. It is saddening to realise that I have not been at the helm of leadership in any project. It is sickening to understand that I have adopted the incorrect attitude at the turn of many events and made so many mistakes.

    Nobody else knows how we feel when we pull and tighten ropes. Nobody can savour our experience as burns, blisters and calluses sprout across our palms and we nearly land the parang on our wrists as we chop wood. We had once radiated efficiency; at the space between the two lecture theatres, the parade square, the  field, and the logshed.

--§--

Had an enjoyable afternoon at Chef Daniel's at the top floor of Iluma the ghost mall. The shopping mall is undergoing a major face-lift so hopefully it emerges as a more sustainable entertainment complex. On the other hand, I liked the serenity, a far cry from the hustle and bustle right outside its walls. Prices are reasonable and service is good. But the company is the best. :)

'Turbulence Training'

I felt inspired to blog after visiting thelilaclegacy (Simple Stories on my sidebar). [=>If you didn't know, the photo on top changes every time you click it.]

However, I don't feel particularly thoughtful or inspired right now, so I will just post whatever pops into mind along the way... You might be wondering what does 'turbulence training' mean. I got this term from one of my friends in FT (foreign talent??) and it was his plan to live a healthier life and become fitter. He was on the chubby side and was hoping to melt some of that fat and clear his second-year IPPT with flying colours. Unfortunately for him, his plan fell flat a month after announcing his proposed diet of wheat biscuits and six small meals per day. He has been back to canteen food and other junk since then.

Similarly for me, I am embarking on phase one of this training, which should involve the limiting of leisure usage of the Internet and generally the computer to a minimal amount of time per day, eating less and exercising more. Of course, the limitation of computer usage will only be in place outside of camp. How long can I last? One of the forceful measures I will be putting in place is free parental control software. And I will be embarking on another unnamed project online that ought to keep my attention.

However, this is not to say I will stop going out for food and whatnot; it just means I will snack less in between meals. I am most definitely looking forward to meet-ups, especially after March. Found this. Hope to check this out soon. Am hungry!

I may not be brave

But I will not let anything take away
What's standing in front of me
:)