做人真难

我已久日没有动笔作画了。

有一股莫名的被动停止了我。我一直在想这是为何？我终于知道了。除了没有创作灵感，就是害怕制造不出来让人有所感受的作品来。再者，我也感觉到美术里画家的傲气。让我先说明一下吧：想要批评一个作品有时是件简单的事，有时却困难百倍。不只考虑到创作者的心情，也得考虑到他拥有的 -- 即使是少量的 -- 傲气。你有办法达到他的水准吗？没有的话请住嘴。那作画的我也难免会有这股傲气，毕竟我修养不到家，没有大将之风，却想掩盖这个事实。

批评是极为普遍的。像是说刚看的电影不过如此，或本地球队不堪一击，或是买来的汉堡不好吃等。我们会有任何的反应是因为我们有其它类似的东西可以拿来作比较与参考。比如说《锦衣卫》的演员能把演技发挥到淋漓尽致，而《Percy Jackson》里的演技实在烂透；英超联赛里的任何一个球队都能轻易击败本地球队；汉堡王的牛肉汉堡比麦当劳的好吃到~

艺术作品包含了不只是艺人的血汗、也不只是他想表达给观众的。它也是有一定的商业价值。
还有傲气。

批评艺术作品是一件不容易做的事情。我们只能默默地成为友善、和蔼的观众。

让我们乘着阳光

I got my official 宅男 specs today, and I look very 宅 in them indeed.



After getting my 宅男 specs, I chionged down to city hall to pass st xy's present. The hungry figure then walked around suntec alone. I was hoping to grab dinner at Just Noodles, a pity Elvis (see below) had to go out with his family while Weijie the tardy boy was too lazy to change clothes.

Also, Elvis has checked out, while Roy and Chiat Siang are checking out from Hotel Tekong tomorrow. This means what? Movie day!!! Yeah man. Hahaha. This is our Final Destination, before we too check into Hotel Tekong. When? After probably-results day. Onwards, Percy Jackson!

肚子饿

昨晚，缺乏睡眠的身体吵着要睡觉。然而，脑筋在一瞬间却不舍得停止转动（这是“日有所思”的范围,到了做梦时依然在转动）。我辗转难眠，起身泡了一杯热巧克力，在厨房看那多的悬疑小说。因为看书比较用神，半夜一点四十分，我的眼珠稍感疲惫，我即上床，马上见周公。

其实在一千年以前我曾经苦思过人存在的意义。不过过了许久，我迟迟没有什么收获。大家都要活着充实、有意义的人生。不过什么是“充实、有意义的人生”？我依然困扰着。人自称是地球的第一号生物，但有好些事情永远只是猜测，预算不到，也研究不出来。

说到“永远”二字，我感到莫名的兴奋，又有种不踏实的感受。直觉，不，应该是潜意识告诉我，想要保持永恒的人被它的神秘气息迷住了，因为永恒是很难想象的，也是不容易达到的。不过，我本身也被吸引住了。我想保留我生命里的一些永恒。这也牵涉到“永生”。我希望我的父母一直健在着。我希望我的姐姐也如此。我希望我的好朋友也是。而我自己，当然也是。我希望可以留住初恋与暗恋的感觉，虽然我不是很确定我是否有过前者。我希望能够与一个终生伴侣白头偕老。我希望在我因老了，吸最后一口气（这样好像有点矛盾，毕竟我都希望要永生了）时，同样老了的朋友，可以在我身边。不是同年同月同日生，至少能同年同月同日死。

看得出，有些事情只不过是人的一份贪念，是不合逻辑的一些追求。

这是一封请求信，也是一个鼓励。

妈妈说真心爱会爱得更精彩，结果我没有女孩
When I see you
I run out of words to say
I wouldn't leave you
'Cause you're that type of girl to make me stay

为什么找了些情歌歌词？因为近日被一位友人缠得要命！XX先生喜欢上XX小姐，想要以某种狡猾的手段见XX小姐一面。我变成夹心饼里的奶油，很压抑呢！所以XX先生，看到此帖子时，请积极主动地追求这位XX小姐，以防她看上YY或ZZ先生，也好让我的生活好过一点！谢谢！

那多，谢谢你的文笔。

近日（其实是今天）看完一本那多的悬疑小说:《反转》。里面的三个手记让我留下深刻的印象，而且非常佩服作者纯熟的手法与整肚子的墨水。非一般的智慧加上新鲜、匪夷所思的故事内容；这些是很精彩，而显得真实的故事。因为最后的手记在24小时内读完，所以印象略深。《返祖》提出“直觉”有可能就是潜意识。人一天内看到、听到、嗅到、或触摸到的东西是无数的，使到一些被认为是不重要的自动过滤掉。不过这些被过滤掉的东西并没有完全消失，而是伏在潜意识里，渐渐形成所谓的“直觉”。

刚刚，老爸刚进门就拿了一袋不明物体走入房里。他还没开口说话，我便猜了：“鸡翅膀啊？”

老爸吃惊。

Brocade Guards

Today is movie outing day! Seems like a movie outing day will become a permanent fixture of our lives for every week, until ORD. But why am I talking about ORDing? I have not even enlisted.

We watched 14 Blades, or 锦衣卫. There was one major disappointment with the movie, but there were the redeeming parts. The Brocade Guards were the secret police of the Ming Dynasty, the personal guards of the emperor. I watched the 制作特辑 beforehand, and was informed that the Jin Yi Wei existed in history, and that one difference between them and other guards was that they had many weapons - the 14 blades. The 14 blades were introduced at the very beginning, eight were reserved for torture and interrogation, five for killing and the last for suicide. But the letdown was that these detailed descriptions end here! I was waiting for more demonstrations of the 14 blades, so much that I thought Qing Long would commit suicide with the last blade after killing Xuan Wu. But Xuan Wu died rather ordinarily, far from the 两败俱伤 fight of Tuo Tuo and Qing Long.

After that we decided to burn a hole in our pockets by going to the coffee connoisseur. A cup of hot chocolate costs $6.20, while there was a 10% service charge, in addition to GST. The hot cafe latte tasted average for about the same price, but at least we got to talk. Someone was sticking out like a sore thumb in No.4 and backpack. >:D

Then another 140 dollars gone! I went to get my NS specs ($120 for 700 myopia, 75 astig for each eye) made and a budget Casio watch. Roy if you happen to read this my specs shop is Teck Yew at Kovan. My first pair was made there, and thereafter. Don't spend >200 on a pair of specs! Hahaha.

I am not looking forward to visiting later on. It is a boring aspect of CNY. You are taken aback. You question me, aghast, does CNY not mainly involve visiting your friends and relatives? I am adamant, for I do not like crowds in an enclosed space, nor do I enjoy meeting strangers each new year, and then coming to an understanding that these unfamiliar faces either share the same surname as me, or at least have some amount of blood that runs the same in our veins.

I am also not accustomed to adults going gaga over a brat who refuses to take an angpao becasue it has an image of a girl on it and he's a boy. I don't find it extremely exhilarating, the only emotion I feel is wtf? This kid is rude.

On another note, happy Valentine's! Or friendship day. Or something.

On a quiet bus

It's the start of a new weekend. A laziness hangs over the heartlands. A bustling estate is virtually unseen, but I know the quiet front is but a facade, covering up the intense activity that goes beyond in the homes, markets and supermarkets. Stomach growling, I was proven right when the bus passes by the newly opened market in sengkang.

Typing at a quiet bus-stop in sengkang

The silence - occasionally disrupted by the few cars making their way to and from various destinations - makes me fear that I have missed the last bus. But the board behind me clearly indicated that the last buses were at least 15 minutes away.

Today concludes my job as beer promoter/merchandiser. My adventurous mission began when I initially picked the longest schedule available so that I will have more of my lonesome days occupied. But one day into my job at shengsiong tekka I was more or less compelled to make a temporal transfer to shengsiong tanjong katong. Then after another three days I was told to stop work for four days, and get transferred to a new location. I was worried, and blamed my poor promoting skillz, but I later discovered a greater truth, and a more logical reason for my transfers. Also, so much for signing a bloody contract. A very versatile contract!

Back to today: I was deployed at Rivervale Mall, a ghost town mall on first impression. Today was my last day, and the day I lose my penknife (a rather prized possession I have come to appreciate). NTUC was more sai gang then shengsiong outlets, but at least there were people to talk to and guide you. A promoter I was less, a merchandiser and a coolie I was more of. Beer seemed to come everyday in hundreds of cartons, and just today we shelved 150 cartons of tiger beer, while yesterday was an amalgam of Leo, GFES, Carlsberg, Chang, Baron's, Tiger (120 cartons) and Jolly Shandy, in quarts, singles or tall cans.

I was somewhat sad to leave, although the job was rather lousy, but there were some friends made, like marigold, yeos and carlsberg. There was also a pretty cashier and pretty customers whom I am not allowed to check out. Also, auntie in charge of us was funny and nice.

Oh, and I strongly believed that the reason of my transfer was that a guy was needed at where I was deployed, to carry heavy beer. And yes, my muscles have become more taut and bigger after carrying those damn cans and bottles!

P.S. Never go for agencies! They eat part of your pay and give you ridiculous break time slots that are impossible to follow.

Had a great dream.

I love you yirin, whoever you may be. :)

I am Hungry

Aren't dreams good? Even nightmares?

I had a night full of dreams I can still roughly recall on awakening. But my head still feels the aftermath of a bad night's sleep.

And this too: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Insomnia

Just this, and this alone

Some things are so beautiful; they make you think why you gave them up in the first place.

You then proceed to lose sleep over that thought.

Sometimes I run out of ideas for titles

I have been beleaguered by requests to blog (two only, actually), and I myself was getting tired of seeing the post on Singtel's poor services. So here goes, an update of my life in Sillypore:

Of late I have developed an obsession for blog-hopping. I like visiting tommy's blog, which nearly guarantees an update every other day, obsessing over the latest developments in his wonderful life. I also frequently look at greenrawks, hoping for the latest news on her working life so far. I turn to meow, in want for hilarious posts written in traditonal chinese (but usually I am sorely disappointed for he has ceased his blogging adventures for a while).

I then visit arcanewolf, which is a rich source of entertainment, because in contrast to the painful blue shades of her blog, the content is the water colour palette of an overtly imaginative child. I click on '6c35', but am not surprised to see the stark lack of updates. The existing few comprises posts by five promising writers, out of a class of 25. I also frequent the top link on the left, titled 'Life'. It is an ever-evolving piece of canvas. And then there are the others.

I have tired of writing about relationships and people. I shall talk about something which is totally unexpected from me. Let's talk about food.

I had the cheapest western food at beach road, army market. Chicken cutlet with fried rice sets you back by $3.50, and it is quite filling, and tasty too. The rest of the dishes is not exorbitant either, quite the contrary. Then there is the western in some part of Eunos, in the heartlands. I have no idea where it is, so the description stops here.

Talking about western, I have to mention the coffee shop stall in Hougang. Come find me if interested. Other than western, the best char siew rice retails in Kovan, also along the Northeast Line. The stall is called 勿洛熟食; expect lunchtime queues. What's more, the toilets are supposedly one of the cleanest in Singapore.

I like chicken rice. I eat it often. The stall near Hougang Mall sells delicious chicken rice, though it would be overkill to go there just to eat it. But the chicken rice stall at AMK Central is cool. The Hainanese chicken should be recommended over its roasted version. Try the tahu goreng! The congee stall is owned by them too, and it's good stuff.

How about desserts? The soya bean market is dominated by Mr Bean, other than the few weirdos like pinle who thought they were good enough competition to join in the fray. But if you dislike the Mr Bean francise, I might suggest N & B Snacks. I know of two dining areas - one near Serangoon MRT, and the other near Potong Pasir MRT. It's air-conditioned, but rather cramped if you plan to bring more than 3 people with you.

There also happen to be a dessert stall near Potong Pasir MRT (only just opposite). They have quite a variety, but I like the black sesame paste, which I believe is only available on weekends. ): Not many sell black sesame paste, and even lesser sell scrumptious black sesame paste.

Someone's birthday coming? You could visit Rive Gauche for attractive confectionery in Tampines One, though there are also branches in Plaza Sing, Suntec and Taka. The selection is limited, but is more varied and tastes much better than Awfully Chocolate's chocolate cakes.

Well this is it for now.

Complaints!

Call me a nitpicky typical Singaporean, who thinks that five cents of his can buy a mansion, but I have to complain. I don't know why I remain a faithful Singtel subscriber all this while (my residential line is Singtel, all except one mobile subscription in the family had and are Singtel, and our internet, from dial-up till the current 6mbps Mio Home bundle is obviously Singtel) especially when fellow telcos are offering handsets and plans at the same price.

Just recently a technician came down to my house to install the Mio Setup box and the latest 2Wire modem (which was so modern that it has no switch). All was well until he had to run a RJ11 cable from the modem to the Mio Setup box, which were approximately 10 metres apart. The techie simply clipped the cable to the wall using 3M hooks. I thought that was fine, and that the cable raceways had to be fitted ourselves. When Mum came home she was furious, so we called them up for a trunking job (cover the ugly cables up). But the other techie came down, and before i knew it, he was installing homeplugs! For the uninitiated, homeplugs are the alternative to wifi, making use of the exisitng electrical cables in your house to set up a network. It could be called wireless, but it is really wired. Okay I guess it solved the problem of wiring, and the techie had an easier job, except that now we have to pay an extra $5.35, excluding GST, per month for 12 months. Considering the market price of home plugs I can safely assume that it wasn't exorbitant, but think again, if the trunking was done properly in the first place, do I even need to arrange time for a second techie to come down, and pay that extra charges? These are what I call hidden charges, not even mentioned in fine print.

Also, Singtel staff told me a bigger truth. A trunking was arranged beforehand! But I had homeplugs installed instead, and now have unused hooks on my walls. (And the Mio channels are nothing to shout about. Really.) There was also a mistake on the techie's part, because he brought down a new 2Wire modem. Initially he thought he could just give it to us as a spare, and I thought it was Singtel's gift for loyal and pissed customers, but turned out he had to return it, so he came down again to retrieve it. Now, I am not sure if the modem has safely made its way back to Singtel because there wasn't documentation to state that we didn't take it. Also, I tried to call Singtel's 1688 customer service hotline. Wow, was it hot. I listened to 15 minutes of 'Our customer service officers are not available, are still not available' and 'You may wait or hang up'. What the hell?! Not the exact words, sure, but the message conveyed to me was just that.

Then I tried emailing, but I had to fill in a form. I don't know what is my 'ADSL number' so I didn't fill that in, but I was surprised that I had to key in all that rubbish for a general enquiry. Why couldn't I just emailed them using whatever email client I have, and also employ a better format in writing the email? What's more, after I clicked 'Submit', there wasn't a 'Thank you for your submission' page. I didn't know whether to send again to be sure, or trust that my submission hasn't dissolved into nothingness.

偶尔看一看电视

现在U频道正在播第三部原创的电视电影，戏名为《煮持人》。之前并没有很强的“想看欲”，不过节目开始后便觉得吸引人。

“会做菜的男人，是最有魅力的。”

“专心打拼事业的男人，是最有魅力的。”

- 两个喜欢男主角的女人

最近本地电台能够不断播出新节目，而且是原创的，再加上戏里的本地演员演技似乎超出平常，应该可以间接地满足挑剔的新加坡观众。不过有一点很明显的缺点是，因为是电视电影，所以在短时间内根本无法把角色之间的感情关系发展得淋漓尽致。而且故事情节难免匆促，剧情刚叼住观众的胃口时戏已经接近尾声了，让人觉得结尾并不完整。继续努力吧！我还很期待会有更多的佳作。

小说介绍

近日看了一本“浪漫爱情故事”之类的台湾书籍。哦，忘了告诉你们我有时候会到图书馆逛逛。不是为了借书或看书而去逛逛，也不是因为非常无聊才去，是为了到图书馆才到图书馆去。大家或许都会有这种一时之间的冲动，只要不是嫖妓赌钱或想去偷抢拐骗的冲动，大致上应该是可以接受的。

因为书名有趣，我才拿起这本书的。我不常看书，所以不懂得如何挑书，便以以下这三种方式选书：

1. 封面好看
2. 书名好听
3. 字不要太小
4. （最好有图片，不过许多作家往往担心图片比文字精彩，所以很少能够在成人区里找到这一类书籍）

其实呢，封面难看、书名无趣，字小到让脑神经阻塞，还是可以接受的。最讨厌的是垃圾般的翻译（这点相信杨修晨[不好意思好像打错了]同学可以纠正）。

这本书完全符合我选书的条件。

故事的主人翁有两个“奇特”与“奇怪”的好朋友 -- 爱向女生搭讪的帅哥帅到暴与追求女生死缠烂打的霹雳猪。主角本身是一个再平凡不过的大三学生，长得不帅，没有任何长处，更加没有女友。这点也让他很疑惑；为什么街上看到的美女，身边会跟着一个普通到不行的男生。他们是怎么办到的？故事的发展使两个女生间接地走入他的世界。他会做出什么样的选择？

这本书读起来像是某个普通人写得异常精彩的日记，你或许会觉得故事的情节曾经发生在你的身上。

48 minutes

Watching 向日葵的约定 - a Singaporean production through and through.

I hesitated to watch it, perhaps because of the strangely unbelievable plot: A sweet 19-year old intellectually-disabled girl falls in love with a introverted and aspiring young artist.

The brutal truth is that there can be no relationship between two such people in the world, other than a platonic one. The kindest man will bestow upon his intellectually-disabled counterpart respect and extend a hand of friendship. Anything beyond just does not happen.

The main characters are fresh, good-looking and better actors than the usual crop from Mediacorp, while the casting of other characters like Wenyuan's dad and Mr. Ken is a nice touch to the edges of the story. I enjoyed this short production, although The Will could be a better watch. As an audience used to drama and soap operas, I was expecting a less subtle ending to both films.

A tab abuser is you!

Mervyn has kindly provided me with a guide to undervolting:

The "Undervolting" Guide

It should be useful for those with heat issues on your notebooks. Because notebook manufacturers would not want you to toy about and overclock your machines (and you would be crazy to want to overclock your notebook anyway) the CPU multipliers come locked and you would not be able to adjust voltage supplied and/or physical clock frequency. As a result you would also not be able to reduce the voltage supplied via the BIOS. According to the guide standard VCORE factory settings of CPUs are sometimes too high, so you might want to reduce them to lower your CPU temperature. Doing so will increase not only your battery life on the go, but also the life of your hardware components in the long run.

*Remember: Water is the number one killer of notebooks; heat is the second.

*Statistics all doctored by me and me alone.

As a comparison with my Acer, below is a screenshot of Orthos CPU Loader running and the measurement of my sister's Toshiba Portege:

All this while running the computer smoothly. I have been complaining about this machine since forever. It was very sluggish! But after running Orthos for more than 20 minutes it is apparent that the system lives up to its Centrino Duo 2 label; the maximum temperature hovers around 44 deg celsius.

This is thegatheroffood

After two years of inactivity, dhsnpccncos0607 sprang into action once again! What can I say, it was a whale of a time. At first it was decided on seoul garden, but the price was too steep, so we changed to another buffet-style eatery, which had roughly the same price, and extra charges for ice cream! Being mindful of my distended stomach I had to watch what I eat, but still we managed to stay there for 3 hours?

And uh, gift exchange! I got stuffs from jolene while huiling got my stuffs. And we spent the night being a bunch of rowdy kids (qiwen would be greatly displeased). Greg flaunted his charm when getting two ladies to take a photo with; winky charmed a hot woman too. And jumping jacks in the middle of an open area for a forfeit? I would be just too shy. :]

okay let's bake cake tmr. Tmr I will get my MioTV setup box. Not very keen though.

Edit: I got a very nice dream by sleeping on the sofa, in return for a spltting headache and a sore skull. A pity the pain is real and the dream will never come true.

明天是冬至。

(ballie things)